How to Love Me (Zine)

Most people know the feeling of longing for love or approval from another. We think, "If only this person praised or showed interest in me, then I could feel valuable."

What How to Love Me helps you remember is that you already are valuable. You already are valued. You already are loved, and you have instant and constant access to that feeling of being loved we all so fervently seek.

In The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, Hendricks explains a concept he and his wife (both relationship coaches) have employed for decades. It involves each person in the relationship taking 100% responsibility for how they feel. Typically, people fall under the misunderstanding that a relationship involves 100% responsibility—50% falling on you to take care of how you feel and 50% landing on your partner to make you feel good. However, as Hendricks teaches, each relationship actually involves 200% responsibility: 100% of how I feel is my choice and 100% is yours. That's not to say you don't support and uplift each other, but you don't hold the other one responsible if you don't feel uplifted.

When Kelly & Jessica began conceptualizing a collaboration with intimacy coach and sexuality strategist Caitlin V Neal, they knew it was the perfect opportunity to finally make a workbook exploring the concept of 200% responsibility—an idea that irrevocably changed their relationship with each other and everyone else.

Your relationship with yourself is your only relationship. All other relationships reflect it. The checker at the market, other drivers in traffic, government officials, your parents and your crush are all behaving according to your vibrational energy. The people in your life can only ever act according to your expectations and the emotions that come along with those expectations.

When you choose to love yourself you are emitting a frequency of, "I am loved," whereas when you pine for the validation of another, you are emitting a frequency that says, "I am not loved. I don't have it and I need it." And whatever signal you emit is how the universe—including other people—reacts. When you feel that you are loved, you attract love. When you need love from another, you push it away.

This workbook contains 7 exercises that teach you the only way to find everlasting and unconditional love: choosing it for yourself.

Who Am I, What Do I Want, and Follow Your Bliss guide you in your mission of self-discovery and self-acceptance while Sense of Enough, Practice the Feeling, and Seal of Approval connect you with your pleasure centers and remind you that love is abundant and available to you always. Releasing Attachment will solidify your self-love and bring you radiance beyond yourself.